WWMD...What Would Mongo Do?

Step off, Xenu, there's a new alien in town...and he lives among us. His name is Prince Mongo, from the planet Zambodia. Memphis might be 9 light years away from "home" for Prince Mongo, but the 333 year old 'savior' knows he's here on Earth to serve a purpose:

"I'm from another planet, there's no doubt about that," Mongo explains. "I'm here on a mission to save Earthlings, and I will in due time. The Earth is self-destructing and when the time comes I will save a few people and take them with me. People don't realize how much I've already saved them from. I saved them from the earthquake, tornadoes, hurricanes. I've used my energies to divert those things."

Well alrighty then...

Prince Mongo does live like a prince here on Earth, owning homes in Virginia beach, a million dollar mansion in Ft. Lauderdale, and "The Castle" in Memphis, TN (pictured left). He's well known for owning several bars and nice pieces of real estate in the Memphis area, but he's notorious for getting into trouble for serving alcohol to minors, run-ins with the courts and his neighbors, and for campaigning for office every couple years or so - only to lose by a great margin.

As far as the allegations of underaged drinking in his establishments, he denies all of them. "I have never been charged with a beer board violation," he insists. "I have never even held a liquor license in my name."

His neighbors haven't been too pleased with having an alien prince next door. He's had numerous wars with Tennessee neighbors over what he called "art" in his yards. Once, he was jailed for dumping trash in the yard of one of his enemies. Prince Mongo is an artist, and the art he's displayed on his front yards have consisted of: coffins, 50 toilet bowls, mannequins, and beach umbrellas.

Often times, he'll put Christmas trees up outside the front of his house in February or March. "My Christmas doesn't begin like y'all's. Christmas changes for me depending on the moon and the energy lines. This year, it's in February."

He made national news when he made a court appearance for such violations wearing green body paint, a green cape, weilding goggles, and a rubber chicken. The judge ordered him to wear normal clothing, and Prince Mongo refused, as was jailed for 10 days and fined $13,875.

Prince Mongo is also known for running for every political office in Memphis. He hasn't come close to winning yet, but he is not deterred and keeps working to get elected.

People call Prince Mongo crazy or eccentric. He believes he's just misunderstood. How can you call a guy that stands on his roof and howls at the moon, walks an invisible dog, and never ever wears shoes (even in the snow) crazy? Prince Mongo says, "I've got better things to do than listen to these dumbbells and these Hitlers who run up and down this street trying to destroy me. These people will be the first ones to be destroyed."

Sounds like a threat to me.

So what is on the horizon for Prince Mongo? Will he fly off to Zambodia anytime soon? It doesn't seem so. Other than using his powerful energies to save us from natural disasters (he must've been off skiing when Hurricane Katrina hit), Prince Mongo has other plans:

"I'm about to start a Zambodian Planetology Church. It will be a very interesting church."

Here are just a few funny quotes from the Prince of Zambodia himself:

"Mannequins continuously bring me information from my planet."
"I don't need money. I live off the stars and the earth and the energy of the sun."
"You ever have sardines and eggs? They're good."
"When I hit Earth, I fragmentized and went all over the world. I then began assembling myself and still am."
"I don't care. I'll give anything away. People are always walking off with my TVs. I don't mind. I have a terrible phobia about throwing things away. Why throw things away when you can give it away?"

And my favorite Prince Mongo quote of all:

"There's great power in my hair; it helps protect me from demons trying to get near me."